last blog on here for a bit

Woah! It has been a while since I have posted anything on my blog...it looks pretty sad with most of my posts having been deleted as well.

This year has been insane. I had no idea teachers college could take up so much of a person's time. It feels good to be done and have some time to write back to emails, make phone calls i haven't made in a year and yes write on this blog.

When i started this blog last year it was because i was extremely frustrated with where i was at in my life. I felt that there were so many issues out there that i felt passionate about yet beyond signing petitions and donating when i could i didn't really know what to do about it. Then I got to know a group of people who had all read the book A Thousand Sister's by Lisa Shannon. Through these people I got to know Dominique Bikaba a wonderful man from DRC. Meeting Dom inspired me to organize a run/walk last summer (Run for Congo Women of course was also an inspiration!)...the run was a success and raised $3710 for projects in DRC (update email to be sent to participants very soon).

I gotta say, one thing i did learn from organizing an event is the drama and disappointment it does have the potential to create....it is stressful and scary and there is a lot of insecurity around it. You learn who will and will not support you and encounter some not so fantastic situations which i don't think anyone even considers when they try to fundraise for an organization or support a particular issue....but i think setbacks are apart of the process.

Before I knew it i was in teachers college and basically had to put everything regarding DRC or any other issues i care about on the shelf... there just wasn't any time or any space in my brain to give anything to the cause....it was hard watching everyone continuing to speak out and gain knowledge about issues facing DRC but i also knew that getting this degree was going to be my way one day to contribute something.

I then had the opportunity to teach for three weeks in Kenya which i learn a lot from... and i also got to see that Kenya is exactly what i pictured... i have deep attachments to the country because of the wildlife there and particular conservationist who live and died there....people kept saying "its a once and a lifetime thing"... but for me it was barely even an introduction...i know i will be having many "once in a lifetime" experiences in kenya for the rest of my life.

Going to Kenya also brought me the closest to DRC i have been thus far which was exciting. Eventually i will get there but at this point i am not sure if i have the right things to offer.

One thing i have thought a lot about is how difficult it can be to dedicate yourself to one cause or issue.... how do you pick one country, one region, one issue and dedicate your entire life to it? i envy the fact that some people are so certain about their passions...i feel like i am all over the place all the time and seem to physically always be at the wrong place when people like Dom, Lisa, etc are in Canada or are holding events.......i think it is hard to find that calling and to know how you can help...for me when it comes to wildlife i really feel i do not have a skill set to offer...i know there are lions and elephants in eastern DRC and i desperately want to know more about them...but how? i have no clue at this point.

I hope that i can offer something to women and girls through education....but i am new at this....i have a lot to learn....

and i do hope i can give something to Strong Roots (Dom' org)...that is my hope...we will see.

so next for me is moving to Kuwait...in one week and six days to be exact....Kuwait is not where i pictured myself to be for the next two years... but it is where i am going and i really hope i find my niche in teaching and start to become the type of educator i hope i can be.....

so that is where i am....stumbling my way through it all and all i can really say about it is....i love every minute of it....i feel that i am slowly letting myself live the issues i care about...i dont feel like i need a blog anymore to get the issues out of my brain because i have no where to place them... instead i feel like i am finding my way...by taking very very VERY small baby steps and learning from others along the way...and also learning when to let go of things i shouldn't have been hanging onto.......i do know im drawn to Africa (cheesy? yes i am aware)...and i am even more drawn to three countries within the continent... and i do hope going there will be one of the constants in my life... and i hope i can figure out what i have to give...but i am learning that there is a time for grabbing life by the horns and taking charge of my path and there are times when i have to sit back and see how it unfolds...

jason and i will be keeping a blog while in kuwait in case we aren't able to send as many update emails to ppl as we want to....we are going to try to stay on top of it and give updates the best we can!

the link is:

http://changeofpacechangeofplace.wordpress.com/

follow along if you would like!

Placement Time!

So you may have noticed this blog seems a bit different. That is because i have removed almost all of my entries. This is only temporary. Id like to edit my older posts just to make sure they are appropriate to be out in internet world. I may one day have parents and potentially even students reading this blog when i am a teacher, and i want to know that what i am writing is informative and useful and maybe even inspiring. For now though I just don't have time to go through my old entries so i have removed them (and saved them on my computer) and will be able to repost them in a little while.

Do keep following as i am still going to continue to write when i have time.

Also i just have to say - i love being back in school. Being on campus, walking into a library packed full with people, enjoying my studies and doing the work. It is so much different from my undergrad - it feels like every project i do is an investment in my future and will decide how knowledgeable of a teacher i will be.

Now i head off to placement...i am nervous because there are so many unknowns and i cannot claim to be a master at every subject...but i am also really excited and cant wait to get out there.

"The only place where your dreams becomes impossible is in your own thinking" - Robert Schuller

A Break

I haven't posted a quote in a while and I feel it is time for one again. Seeing as i am back in school after a three year break, i want to post this one - to keep me inspired when i am sitting in math and feeling completely overwhelmed. Quotes, quotes, quotes....they make me happy.

"You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world" - Tom Blokaw

One Day

There has been a song that has sorta been my saviour over the last few months. I am sure most of you know it. It is called "One Day" by Matisyahu. Whenever I am feeling completely helpless, or feeling like nothing will ever change, or really needing to be told that everything will be ok, I flick on that song.

There is nothing that can discourage me or hurt me more, then human beings. There is the discouragement of canned hunting, wars being started to drain countries of their natural resources, destruction to the environment. The big stuff. But humans, on a smaller scale, can also be discouraging. Pointing out certain things I am insecure about, not being supportive, not being understanding - all the little things that can contribute to the nagging feeling of "you will fail" that can sometimes be in my mind.

But

There is also nothing more inspiring then human beings. There is the encouragement of Lisa Shannon fighting her battle to regulate the use of conflict minerals, the facebook group dedicated to making people aware of canned hunting companies disguised as conservation groups, people cleaning up oil soaked beaches and animals. For every negative that has been caused by humans there are always those who are working to fixed the problem. In my life right now, I have 5 people who jumped on board right away to do my run and others who have jumped on board to sponsor us or help at the event. There are people from across the United States reaching out to help this Canadian and her friends and family try to help Congolese people and the animals that live there. To me it is a beautiful example of the true meaning of being a human being. Sticking together, getting each other through the rough patches, defending each other, hoping that everyone has a chance at a good life, being inspired by one another, pushing the pain and hurt feelings aside to better oneself. I sure know I am constantly in need of lessons on how to be a better human. I fail at it often. So I love being reminded by others. Without other peoples strength, kindness, passion and love for life, I would be completely lost in doubt.

This song reminds me of the greatness people have in them. The capacity for hope when there should be none. The second I hear it I let myself get lost in all the possibilities out there and feel motivated again to pick myself up off my butt, from whatever has knocked me back down (i am pretty skilled at knocking my own self down sometimes!), and just be happy and hopeful in the now, and really really excited for what lays ahead.

"Sometimes I lay under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
Then I pray, don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
Sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because

All my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
For the people to say
That we don't wanna fight no more
They'll be no more wars
And our children will play

One day, one day, one day

It's not about win or lose
We all lose when they feed on the
souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
In this maze you can lose your way
It might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way, no way!

One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence
Down with the hate
One day we'll all be free
and proud to be
Under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like

one day, one day, one day

All my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
That we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play

One day, one day, one day"